by Jen Crowley
August 28, 2019
So you’ve come to the decision that you want to adopt a child! You feel nervous and elated at the same time. So….what’s the next step?
Once you start looking into the process of adoption, it can seem very overwhelming.
Are you going to seek a private adoption, go through an agency, or go through the foster care system? Domestic or international? Have you considered if you’d be open to adopting a child with special needs or an unknown family medical history?
These questions and many more are all decisions you need to make to narrow down the path you will take to bring home your child.
Beginning Your Adoption Journey
If you haven’t already, I’d suggest you try to find and talk to other adoptive families and learn about their adoption experiences.
Related: 25 Questions to Ask Adoptive Families When Discerning Your Own Call to Adoption
Families who have been through the process of adoption before can provide some extremely valuable advice and lessons learned that you might not know otherwise.
If you don’t know offhand any adoptive families, I’d consider asking your pastor if he knows of any in your parish community who might be willing to visit with you. Certainly, if you’re being very open about your adoption journey, you can ask on social media for referrals from friends and you’re very likely to be connected with an adoptive family rather quickly.
Educating Yourself About Adoption
Read, read, and read some more about the realities of adoption. You will soon discover, if you haven’t already, that becoming a part of the adoption experience is not just a process of finding your child and bringing him or her home and living your lives as a “normal” family.
Adoption will change your life forever.
Let me repeat that…..Adoption will change your life forever.
This is not a bad thing. It just is what it is. You need to prepare yourself so that you can be the best possible parent for your child.
Will this make you a perfect adoptive parent? No. But will it help? Oh yes.
Your child will go through emotions surrounding their adoption story throughout his or her life that will be foreign to his or her friends. You will likely experience situations yourself when you’ll question the best way to handle it — maybe with the birthfamily, maybe with medical issues, perhaps with nosy questions about your child’s adoption story itself. You will want to have those tools in your toolbelt to be able to refer to when issues like that WILL come up.
One book about adoption that I really liked reading before we started our first adoption process was called, “Adopting After Infertility” by Patricia Irwin Johnston.
There are so many books about adoption, so just start looking some up and pick a few to begin with.
If You Go the Agency Route, Do Your Homework
Many people choose to adopt through an agency, especially for their first adoption, since the agency knows exactly how to go through the process as opposed to figuring it all out yourself when trying to adopt privately.
I wouldn’t recommend Googling “adoption agency” and picking the closest one to you as they are all very different and you want to be sure to find the right fit.
Related: 23 Questions to Ask When Choosing an Adoption Agency
Personally, my husband and I have adopted through two different adoption agencies as well as adopted privately, so we have a pretty good handle on knowing what our preferences are when it comes to choosing which avenue we prefer to take when adopting.
It will help you when talking to the different adoption agencies to inform yourself more about the different opportunities available to you, including adopting domestically or internationally, levels of openness in adoption, and the various costs associated with their particular agency.
Pray About It and Decide!
Once you’ve informed yourself as best you can, take some time to pray about which avenue God might be calling you and your spouse to take. When you’re ready, make the decision and begin the application process!
Congratulations and let the excitement begin!
If you enjoyed this post, please share!
& If you aren’t a part of our Online Adoption Support Group — Destined, we’d love to have you join us! It’s a community filled with those who seek and offer spiritual and emotional support to anyone touched by adoption!
Looking for further healing and support? Come to one of our events!
Hey! I’m Jen Crowley!
I helped co-found the ministry Sarah’s Hope & Abraham’s Promise, where we seek to offer spiritual support for those struggling with infertility or pregnancy loss, as well as support for those touched by adoption. I’ve been the proud wife to a great man for over 10 years, and I’ve been blessed through the miracle of adoption to be a mama of four beautiful (and very active) children! I come from the South and love cooking, a glass (or two) of wine, and Jesus. Throw in a movie marathon coupled with snuggles with my kiddos or deep conversations with my dearest loved ones, and you couldn’t find me happier! You can find my humble thoughts on journeying through infertility and adoption here!
